[Book Club] Chatter
Hi, my friend. I am back again!
This week, I will switch back to conventional learning, a Book Club.
Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It
Ethan Kross
What a lark! What a plunge! For so it had always seemed to her when, with a little squeak of the hinges, which she could hear now, she had burst open the French windows and plunged at Bourton into the open air. How fresh, how calm, stiller than this of course, the air was in the early morning; like the flap of a wave; the kiss of a wave; chill and sharp and yet (for a girl of eighteen as she then was) solemn, feeling as she did, standing there at the open window, that something awful was about to happen; looking at the flowers, at the trees with the smoke winding off them and the rooks rising, falling; standing and looking until Peter Walsh said, ‘Musing among the vegetables?’—was that it?—‘I prefer men to cauliflowers’—was that it? He must have said it at breakfast one morning when she had gone out on to the terrace—Peter Walsh. He would be back from India one of these days, June or July, she forgot which, for his letters were awfully dull; it was his sayings one remembered; his eyes, his pocket-knife, his smile, his grumpiness and, when millions of things had utterly vanished—how strange it was!—a few sayings like this about cabbages.
Mrs Dalloway opens with a stream of thoughts from Mrs. Dalloway. Virginia Woolf was one of the pioneers using this technique in the novel, Stream of Consciousness, to deliver narratives of characters. It is an artistic way of using Chatter.
What is Chatter?
Chatter is the inner voice in our minds. It consists of the cyclical negative thoughts and emotions that turn our singular capacity for introspection into a curse rather than a blessing.
Statistically speaking, we spend 30%-50% of our waking life talking and listening to ourselves. And the voice is a very fast “talker”. It is at a rate equivalent to 4000 words per minute. For the record, on average, we talk 120 WPM and read 230 WPM.
Well, I firmly believe I spend more than half of my waking time not living in the present. It is worrying to see how it leads to disruptive conclusions, behaviors, and feelings.
Why do we have Chatter?
Chatter (Introspection), in its simplest sense, involves actively paying attention to one's own thoughts and feelings. This ability enables us to imagine, remember, reflect, and use these musings for problem-solving, innovation, and creation. Many scientists view this as a key evolutionary advancement that distinguishes humans from other species.
However, introspection can be harmful when we're distressed. Instead of alleviating our concerns, our thoughts often exacerbate them, leading to something more damaging.
When Chatter is bad for us?
Research suggests that the frequent use of first-person singular pronouns, also known as I-talk, is a reliable indicator of negative emotions. With a long immersion period, Chatter will lead us down a vicious cycle full of imagined scenarios and past events. We thought we were practicing logical thinking. In fact, paralysis by analysis.
How to harness Chatter?
Tip 1. Create distance between Chatter and Experiencing Self.
This can be done in many different ways. For example, use your name and the second-person “you” to refer to yourself. (The most used sentence for me in the workplace: ”Meng, you can’t do this.”) It creates a weird distance feeling to the inner voice. Try it.
Or you can imagine advising a friend. What would you say to a friend experiencing the same problem as you? Think about the advice you’d give that person, and then apply it to yourself.
Another way to gain distance and broaden your perspective is to engage in mental time travel. How will you feel a month, a year, or even longer from now? Even though this is one recommended by the author, I would rather use it carefully based on my experience. Oftentimes, mental time travel indeed flattens my emotional surge. Meanwhile, it makes my experience nearly worthless as the effect of “nothing really matters” kicks in.
The last type of distancing is to change the view. As you think about a negative experience, visualize the event in your mind from the perspective of a fly on the wall peering down on the scene. This tip functions in a very interesting way. I used it quite often unconsciously. Changing the view makes many past events very absurd. I feel angry and frustrated when I experience it again what happened in the meeting. However, if I imagine I am a surveillance cam on the corner of the ceiling, the scenario turns ugly and uncomfortable. I even wonder, “Why will people have energy turning red?”
Tip 2. Write expressively.
Write about your deepest thoughts and feelings surrounding your negative experience for fifteen to twenty minutes a day for one to three consecutive days. Really let yourself go as you jot down your stream of thoughts; don’t worry about grammar or spelling. Focusing on your experience from the perspective of a narrator provides you with distance from the experience, which helps you make sense of what you felt in ways that improve how you feel over time.
This is a tip mentioned by a few books focus on different topics. Some are for psychological treatment, and some are for creativity curation. I might write extensively about this in another post.
Tip 3. Feel in control.
There is no point in arguing that we can’t have 100% control of our lives. The point is to “feel” in control instead of actually “have” control. When you feel in control, Chatter will be quiet or at least not negative.
The first kind of “feel in control” is to embrace a superstition. I know, I know, we are logical human beings, atheists**,** agnostics, residents of World 42, or modern science provable-only believers. I had a hard time understanding this point. However, it clicked when I related to another God mentioned by an artist when arguing why everyone can be creative.
Creativity is the natural order of life. Life is energy: pure creative energy. There is an underlying, in-dwelling creative force infusing all of life—including ourselves. When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator’s creativity within us and our lives. We are the channel of creativity.
I hope I made this part clear. Nevertheless, I will not give another attempt. Let it be awakened.
The second kind is to perform a ritual. This is a simple reflection of the first type. For example, I take a deep breath every time before I serve the shuttle. I feel in control of the point. Kento Momota tightens his shorts right before the game. I guess it is a ritual as well.
The last kind is even more easy to implement. Creating order in your environment can also help quiet Chatter.